“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Monday, August 18, 2014

A quest for humility part 2 Day156

Read the previous blog for context.  http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-quest-for-humility-part-1-day-155.html

I notice how, when I speak, and especially write my blogs, how I am fighting myself. And I feel the energy rising within me, as I do this. And as i do this, what is in fact happening is that I am suppressing my being, as the mind becomes more prominent with the increased energy through the fighting.
I watched a Vlog on humility today, and I listened to an Eqafe video on humility as well. They helped me.
http://desteni.org/profile/165/vlog/EHSKrLoiyLM
https://eqafe.com/searches?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=humble

I also haven't listened to this interview https://eqafe.com/p/mind-being-body-kryon, but this point of Being, Mind and Physical, is one that I have not paid attention to, and placed it in the context of my life.
I notice I can't be humble if I am within a reaction. When I am in a reaction, energy builds, and my being is suppressed, and humbleness as an expression as myself as life could only come from my being, not mind. I can see when I am in Ego, and suppressing myself. And I can see when I am not suppressing myself with energy, and when I am here, and allowing me as a being to exist, here, and express and just be.
I can see how I have used excitement to suppress myself, by building the energy within me, and suppressing me, I can see that.
I can see how I have accepted and allowed the belief that excitement is ok, because positivity is ok.
I can see how I have been suppressing myself as humility through generating energy as excitement.
I can see how I have also been using self-pity as an emotion to stay within energy as I attempt to stop excitement.
Self-pity is rather a prominent point within me. How can I have humility while self-pity is here?
Self-pity is an emotion, and it has specific backchats of self-pity. The backchats are about how I don;t know for sure. And I have self-pity for how I don't know for sure, like poor me, I wasn't taught or shown how to do this and I have failed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe, and perceive that I know everything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek guidance from somewhere out there, in the mysterious beyond, a greater force or power than myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about other people hearing that I have self-pity within me, and that they will approach me with pity, and tell me how sorry they are for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about what will happen if I open up and share what is really going on within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to close off possibilities, and so deny myself humility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wreak havoc on myself, my world, and the people in my world, because I participated within thinking and the generation of energy, which led to a suppresion of my being as humility, and led to my possession as ego.

When and as I see myself suppressing my being as humility, through energy generated through thinking and participating in the mind- I stop and breathe- I realize thinking and the mind, will push for domination of me, if I allow it- I realize that without energy the control as suppresion of my being, will lessen- I realize that as long as I continue to generate energy as excitement, my being will be suppressed- I realize that as long as I contine to accept and allow myself to participate within energy, of any sort, my being will continue to be suppressed -
I commit myself to create the space for my beingness to step through, by stopping participation in energy, when and as I am aware my being is suppressed by my thinking and participation in energy.

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