Day 906 Using Anger to make others feel Guilty

 A grand pattern I have uncovered is this connection between guilt and anger.

Where it is an desire to make another feel guilty, as the purpose reason for getting angry at them. And in so doing, giving permission for oneself to continue to feel guilt when others are angry at oneself. So by accepting one you continue allowing the other. 

So to reiterate the above: imagine someone is angry at you, and then see if you feel guilt at all. Or see if you do change according to them. Maybe you don't feel guilt, maybe you feel anger instead, but within that anger in response to their anger, you goal is to make them feel guilty. I suggest then that perhaps you are suppressing your guilt, because look you have in fact reacted to their anger. You are not moving as pure expression as self. So firstly try to release the anger.

So what I did that lead to this realization is similar to the above. I felt angry at anothers anger, I couldn't release it, but I wanted to. So I allowed myself to feel what was going on within me unconditionally. In-breath= feel it, hold for a moment, then out breath= let it go. I could see my guilt/response. And its clear how anger is used by us humans to make others change. Why else would we use anger to begin with, if not to make others do as we will? 

So that was another point, the desire to make others change through me using anger, instead of simply giving support as a helping hand, allowing them to choose.

And it became clear that if I can let go of my own intentions of using anger to make others change through making them feel guilt, then I can stop my own guilt and reactions to others anger. Its like if you are actively involved in seeking others who give their permission to be changed by others, then you are giving permission to play the game as well by allowing others to give you directions where you react without awareness. That is not self-responsible, self-directed living as what is best for all, within being here. 

 So it feels clear now for me. At least for now anger doesn't overtake me, and neither does guilt. Good luck on the journey to all.