Yogan's Journey to Life

Believing that I don't deserve the best. Believing that I don't deserve the best opportunity, the best life, the best qualities, the best way of living, the best living situation, the best circumstances, the best dreams/hopes/plans/desire, the best future, the best people/friends surrounding me, the best chances, the best. If I give myself the worst, I receive the worst. If I give myself the best, I receive the best. I create myself, my fate, my consequence, my destiny, with what I give myself. I, Yogan, forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not deserve the best.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not deserve the best  opportunity to succeed in everything I do. I, Yogan, forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the best life possible, because I felt guilty that others are not living the best life possible. What I give myself, I will make sure that others have al...

2 Incompatible definitions for love. Which one do you choose? I looked up the definition for love in my dictionary. In the Merriam-webster's Collegiate dictionary, there are several definitions for love. When I look at the definitions for love, I see two definitions that I know of very well. They are 1) Strong affection for another, and 2) unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Many definitions in the dictionary or in used in daily life by average people reflect some version of these two definitions. However I notice how in the dictionary there are several versions that speak to option 1, and little to nothing for option 2, which is very similar to daily life. How many people use definition 2? Few or many? And how many use definition 1? Few or Many? So you see perhaps why I am writing this. I am writing this because for me, in my experience, these two definitions are incompatible, because the starting points are different, not the same, for the two defini...

This is about you. (no question mark) What is interesting is that everything is always about you. What you think, what you feel, what you see, your reactions, your movements, is you. Its about you. What you see on tv, the wars, the movies, the starvation, death, murders, stories, animal abuse, rapes, poverty, wealth, inequality,  its always about you. What you see is you. And if you close your eyes, the darkness you see is also you. When you run away, its you. When you hide its you. When you cry or complain its you. When you stand up and stop, its you. When you change its you. So no matter what, this existence is you, and every moment you are yourself.

Ok so when I was coming here to write this post, I was preparing to say how I fear losing someone because of who I am, what I do/did. Now, however, I mean I have faced this point before, so this time I am facing it, it is rather a point of excitement, because I get to see who a person is, in response to who I am and what I did. Will they react? Will they stand? What? And I am excited more because there is a chance, a chance beyond all odds, all chances, that this person will stand. And that chance that possibility, that something real could manifest as a person here in the flesh, is exciting. So its not really an excitement, but really an anticipation to what is to come. You could say I am hoping they stand, because I want everyone to stand, and when they stand I feel like celebrating. And its just something amazing to marvel at for a moment. And it then reminds me of who I am, and my stand, and to see the same standing in another making the same stand as me, is just amazing to see. I...

Who I am I lived a very specific life, like I am sure everyone has lived a very specific life. When I look at my life, my mind automatically compares my life experience to those of others. When I self-honestly check this however, I know, always that everyone is the same, and our life experience is in essence the same. Now, I cannot really know the life another has lived, that is for him/her to know. To share my life experience is a step I must take. I am an innocent being. I have wholeheartedly accepted all of the advice and knowledge that my primary caregiver has given me. She has always been there for me, both my word and action. I naturally trusted her and that trust was rewarded in certain specific ways. So as that trust was rewarded I trusted her more. So that with each new knowledge point I always was more willing to accept it. I did have fears, very specific fears. I did face them directly as a manifestation of myself. I always wanted to find people like me. I wanted to cre...

My Truth. About everyone I have seen in my life, has been lacking in some way or another. For example, there is often fear of something, or perhaps love for someone or something exclusive to the rest. And I know already how anyone, if they were to stop those fears, and love inclusively of all, they could die happy in that moment, and of course they would not want to because they want to live, to express and understand themselves and others and provide the support and presence to everyone, as everyone, as I have said, is lacking in some way or another. So life would take on the definition = to everyone. I think there may have been only one person who may have heard the words I spoke. Im not really sure of the rest.

So Im 23 years old. I did what the average, or maybe not so average, American young person would think to do, go to college. So I did that. I realized its not all that its cracked up to be. Suffice to say, making money with the intent, starting point of making money, which is within my starting point of what is best for all and so best for me, will accumulate money faster than not having this intent/goal/starting point. Money is not just going to fall into my lap. I need to work at generating it. Someone told me that everyone who has money is a salesman. They have to sell themselves or their product. So im going to go at this full out and see what emerges in this coming year 2014. So some ideas I have about money are floating around inside of me, so im going to take them out in SF here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that making money is hard. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that making money won't require a great deal ...