Day-44:Use the Mind to Support the Birth of Life

What is best for all? Can love become what is best for all? A better question, why is love not what is best for all? Why is love separate from what is best for all? Why am I not aware of each thought I have, and each any every impulse, movement, inclination within me? Why do I pretend I am aware of such things? How do I become aware of who I am really within making a decision for example?

What am I basing my decisions on? What factors am I considering, who am I considering? Do I consider just me or am I considering others too? Do I allow feelings to make a decision for me? Do I one day choose A because I feel good and choose B because I feel bad? Is there more than just my feelings/emotions? (yes).

I make doing what is best for all my priority to consider in my decision. This is something for me to live and apply. To whether I feel good or bad to do what is best for all. Like questioning, why do I feel good or bad? Why do I consider anything other than what is best for all (includes me, since I am part of all, one and equal)?

I cannot fight the mind. Fighting the mind would be fighting myself. I need to understand the mind. Ask questions. Question the mind, and so understand the mind. And so understand who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as well, and what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as the physical body. Also what is the physical body really.

One interesting answer I have to the question what do we know when we do x and y happens? Only that when x happened in the past, it was followed by y. We do not know anything else, we just literally have a memory. Its amazing the number of assumptions we (I) have made. The generalizations, the extensions, the expectations and the beliefs, all a memory.

In addition, I have to use the mind completely, and all the resources and things I  have at my disposable to assist me in changing. There is nothing bad with any of it per se, that I can use all I of me, and with this challenge of freeing myself from my own accepted and allowed imprisonment, you betcha im gonna need all of me on this one. I need to bring and use all of me, all that I have become to assist me in changing. Everything that works, works, so keep it. See what is assistive and supportive and use it. Whatever really in fact support me in changing really, stably, to what is best for all, to consider all (including me) equally in everything and really support a change through the EMC, @ http://www.quora.com/EMCapitalism , join us.

My self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of using the mind, because I was afraid of having a mind, because I wanted to be accepted by others as having no mind, because I wanted to be perfect, because I wanted to feel good and become more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of writing me out in detail, for myself to see who I am in detail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I can do this alone, when really I need to use every resource I have available, within and without, to have the best chance to free myself, which I realize that it is a difficult journey and I need to give it everything I got.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight the mind and separate myself from my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having a mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others may say or think if they were to see my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my mind as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand that whatever I judge as bad is really myself judging myself as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the mind is part of self, and can be utilized to support myself and life even within stopping programs of the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up and give into fear and anger instead of realizing that I am not really giving it all I got, within which I can be self-honest and hold no regrets as to actually using all my resources in supporting myself and life.

When and as I see myself feeling despair when I am stuck in writing or in another activity, I stop and breathe and I ask myself, am I giving it all I got? – I realize I can probably do more – I realize there may be options, choices, and tactics I have not tried or I have ignored, or I am afraid of using/doing – I realize that the mind is me and there is no point in fearing the mind and I know that I am not limited to following the mind’s programs, and that the mind can be a great tool – I realize despair is a program I can step out of and then direct the situation I am in.

I commit myself to stand up through utilizing all of me and be directive with the mind to in fact support life.

I commit myself to write clearly and in detail, using what I have learned about communication and writing, where I write so that what I write sounds easy to read/hear, and also easy/clear to understand where all questions that may rise are clarified.

I commit myself to live my words.

I commit myself to say only what I mean to say.

I commit myself to write my words so that my words stand for all of time.

I commit myself to be as practical as possible with my words, in referring to referents that are the most accessible to as many people as possible.

I commit myself to use vocabulary that is generally accepted by society so that society can understand me, where possible.

I commit myself to be cognizant how a person reading my writing for the first time will understand it.

I commit myself to remember what I learned today that despair is a program I can step out of and all I require is myself, all of me, to do it.