Day 21- Look out world here's Freddy.

Self-forgiveness and commitments pertaining to this post http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-22-self-forgiveness-and.html

So in my private writings I had opened up the point of relationships and how I seek relationships to relive an experience of bliss when my parents were in love and I thought I felt love from my parents. Which of course, is an experience within me and so has nothing to do really with my parents but with me. I bring this point up because I am looking at a point that opened up where I see myself as better or more if there is a woman who is standing by me, so to speak. Which is very not cool that because something outside me is different, who I am changes. So I see desire to manifest this point of relationship and I see I fear losing this point, not attaining this point, as I fear who I am without this point, and so in this way fear my own fear. I have to become comfortable with me first to get to know me first before embarking on any relationship, which is a good suggestion for anyone to take. Otherwise you can imagine what can go wrong from being with another and not even knowing yourself. MAJOR CONSEQUENCES. Which will lead to regret, and no one likes regret.

Crybaby

Im going to just push myself here, for a moment. Why do I want relationship. I feel better. I am more expressive when in a relationship. You are just happier, youcan see couples as happier than everyone else, so that must mean I will be happy. One observation I have is everyone looks at the positive but does not see the fall of the relationship. Why do people break up? If they were so happy at one point how can from that point manifest anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy? The commonsense answer is people don’t know themselves, there is no self that knows who self is, what self does, how self does it, and why. Otherwise why is nasty shit accepted and allowed? So…

Similar evidence is found in one’s words. Our words are programmed. We have programmed, phrases that we just accept and allow and are happy/positive when we hear other say the same phrases. So we end of copying and recopying phrases, statements, opinions, as strings of words connected in a certain order and way and so in this way do not see past our noses to see we are speaking in phrases as our thoughts are phrases and memorized. Our culture can be seen as like a machine that memorizes. For example, we have computers, that store massive amount of information, and in schools we memorize massive amount of information. There is no critical thinking as long as we depend on programmed words and phrases, and so are using words defined in limited meanings, sentences contexts, prechosen to support what has been supported, and decided in the past. We have not stopped and consider that what I am saying was not a deliberate act of understanding all that can be said and what is best from all that can be said. We don’t consider what is really required to be said as it being the best from investigation, and considering and seeing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think who I am will change when I enter into a relationship, when who I am does not change unless I am the one who changes me, so it is always self-change and self-acceptance and allowance, and never an outside point, which only manifests with lack of understanding how self has created self, to be but a machine programmed to be programmable with certain stimulations, namely energy as love or fear, acquired from all those that have come before us, our ancestors, taught by our parents primarily and accepted and allowed since its inception at childhood/first years. 

And so another point opened up where I have always desired to teach others how things are and work. Like listen to me because I know. And if I know I am the wineer (read whiner). So, this serves the system of knowledge and information we have all enslaved ourselves to, which of course happens primarily in childhood and school. We sell ourselves out for an education to one day get a job and money. I remember being shown that doing poor, not accepting school will leave you without a job and no money. Which is already installed into us as fear. Its really really really not cool, as we continue the point, as we see it is all accepted and allowed under the hubris that rule-breakers pay the price, which is death. You can’t leave the system, and so what else is there to do but sell yourself. So our teachers then are the real police to keep us in line. What happens when you question authority, you are made an example of. No one would dare question things then. Of course you have your more liberal teachers, but there is never the will to see through a system that really can deliver what is needed in every moment. Food, water, security, stability. We are and have been basing our system on thin air. The basic neccesities have been made conditional and something you are not guarantee to have or get, money. Whoever has the money can get you to do many things, just to survive. We all know this is not right. And so join us in a real solution. Uncoditional money, equal money, because life is life, it needs support whatever form you have your form likely needs maintenance. LOL. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself out to a system designed on fear, and not work for a solution that actually practically considers the life form that is us and from the EARTH.