Day 21- Look out world here's Freddy.
Self-forgiveness and commitments pertaining to this post http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-22-self-forgiveness-and.html
So in my private writings I had opened up the point of relationships and how I seek relationships to relive an experience of bliss when my parents were in love and I thought I felt love from my parents. Which of course, is an experience within me and so has nothing to do really with my parents but with me. I bring this point up because I am looking at a point that opened up where I see myself as better or more if there is a woman who is standing by me, so to speak. Which is very not cool that because something outside me is different, who I am changes. So I see desire to manifest this point of relationship and I see I fear losing this point, not attaining this point, as I fear who I am without this point, and so in this way fear my own fear. I have to become comfortable with me first to get to know me first before embarking on any relationship, which is a good suggestion for anyone to take. Otherwise you can imagine what can go wrong from being with another and not even knowing yourself. MAJOR CONSEQUENCES. Which will lead to regret, and no one likes regret.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself out to a system designed on fear, and not work for a solution that actually practically considers the life form that is us and from the EARTH.
So in my private writings I had opened up the point of relationships and how I seek relationships to relive an experience of bliss when my parents were in love and I thought I felt love from my parents. Which of course, is an experience within me and so has nothing to do really with my parents but with me. I bring this point up because I am looking at a point that opened up where I see myself as better or more if there is a woman who is standing by me, so to speak. Which is very not cool that because something outside me is different, who I am changes. So I see desire to manifest this point of relationship and I see I fear losing this point, not attaining this point, as I fear who I am without this point, and so in this way fear my own fear. I have to become comfortable with me first to get to know me first before embarking on any relationship, which is a good suggestion for anyone to take. Otherwise you can imagine what can go wrong from being with another and not even knowing yourself. MAJOR CONSEQUENCES. Which will lead to regret, and no one likes regret.
Crybaby |
Im going to just push myself here, for a moment. Why do I
want relationship. I feel better. I
am more expressive when in a relationship. You are just happier, youcan see
couples as happier than everyone else, so that must mean I will be happy. One
observation I have is everyone looks at the positive but does not see the fall
of the relationship. Why do people break up? If they were so happy at one point
how can from that point manifest anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy? The commonsense
answer is people don’t know themselves, there is no self that knows who self
is, what self does, how self does it, and why. Otherwise why is nasty shit
accepted and allowed? So…
Similar evidence is found in one’s words. Our words are
programmed. We have programmed, phrases that we just accept and allow and are
happy/positive when we hear other say the same phrases. So we end of copying
and recopying phrases, statements, opinions, as strings of words connected in a
certain order and way and so in this way do not see past our noses to see we
are speaking in phrases as our thoughts are phrases and memorized. Our culture
can be seen as like a machine that memorizes. For example, we have computers,
that store massive amount of information, and in schools we memorize massive
amount of information. There is no critical thinking as long as we depend on
programmed words and phrases, and so are using words defined in limited
meanings, sentences contexts, prechosen to support what has been supported, and
decided in the past. We have not stopped and consider that what I am saying was
not a deliberate act of understanding all that can be said and what is best
from all that can be said. We don’t consider what is really required to be said
as it being the best from investigation, and considering and seeing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think
who I am will change when I enter into a relationship, when who I am does not
change unless I am the one who changes me, so it is always self-change and self-acceptance
and allowance, and never an outside point, which only manifests with lack of
understanding how self has created self, to be but a machine programmed to be
programmable with certain stimulations, namely energy as love or fear, acquired
from all those that have come before us, our ancestors, taught by our parents
primarily and accepted and allowed since its inception at childhood/first
years.
And so another point opened up where I have always desired
to teach others how things are and work. Like listen to me because I know. And
if I know I am the wineer (read whiner). So, this serves the system of
knowledge and information we have all enslaved ourselves to, which of course
happens primarily in childhood and school. We sell ourselves out for an
education to one day get a job and money. I remember being shown that doing
poor, not accepting school will leave you without a job and no money. Which is
already installed into us as fear. Its really really really not cool, as we
continue the point, as we see it is all accepted and allowed under the hubris
that rule-breakers pay the price, which is death. You can’t leave the system,
and so what else is there to do but sell yourself. So our teachers then are the
real police to keep us in line. What happens when you question authority, you
are made an example of. No one would dare question things then. Of course you
have your more liberal teachers, but there is never the will to see through a
system that really can deliver what is needed in every moment. Food, water,
security, stability. We are and have been basing our system on thin air. The
basic neccesities have been made conditional and something you are not
guarantee to have or get, money. Whoever has the money can get you to do many
things, just to survive. We all know this is not right. And so join us in a
real solution. Uncoditional money, equal money, because life is life, it needs
support whatever form you have your form likely needs maintenance. LOL.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself out to a system designed on fear, and not work for a solution that actually practically considers the life form that is us and from the EARTH.
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