“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Open for Business! day 154

Becoming a business man involves whitening my teeth. I didn’t come up with the rules. For some reason white teeth are considered beautiful. Also, yellow teeth are considered ugly. I have yellow teeth. DO I judge my yellow teeth as ugly, no. But I need to whiten my teeth because other people may do so, and have a negative reaction within them, which wouldn’t be conducive to making a sale. So its just part of what I have to do, and it will be worth it!
SO I feel resistance to whitening my teeth. I am already doing it, and even saying that I already feel the guilt. It is as if it is wrong to do stuff to make myself beautiful in the eyes or the minds of others. Like I am being deceptive or manipulative. In reality I recognize yes I am manipulating my physical teeth, because I have an understanding that the majority of people, live according to the good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly principle, including me evidently. This is why I am doing this process of writing and self-forgiveness. I recognize this has to stop, and who I am has to change. These thought judgments are not best for me.  
Why do I feel guilty? Because I don’t want to be a liar. Because I don’t want to be a manipulator. I want to be honest, and truthful.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that truth and honesty can exist in a world full of manipulators and liars.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see that it is self-honest to support me and others through supporting my business, which I see as does in fact involve changing the human for the better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that it is dishonest and manipulative to use what other people have decided upon as how they are going to live, which is the good/bad principle. I realize I cannot really manipulate someone if they hadn’t open themselves up to manipulation. So am I really manipulating them, or have they already manipulated themselves?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself through my mind, through thinking and feeling that making me seem attractive in the eyes of others is wrong, which is a thought and emotion pattern which is not best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have manipulated myself to be the best for me, to accept nothing less than the best of me, and for everyone.
When and as I feel guilty that I have done something to make myself “beautiful” which is a concept of the mind, which isn’t real, for the purpose of supporting me– I stop and I breathe- I realize that I need to play in the mind games of the world system, if I am to achieve success, and therefore integrate as part of the system, for the purpose of standing one and equal with and as the world system, so as to change it as I change – I realize that there is no point in resisting doing anything in this world, because anything may in fact be required of me, given the circumstance – I realize that what matters is changing humanity, changing our living situation, something real, and long-lasting, not a band-aid solution- I realize that the mind will never matter, so feeling guilty or good over the mind judgments and thoughts like I am not good enough, or I shouldn’t or should do this, is pointless, as energy is never practical!
I commit myself to do the best for me, because that means doing the best for everyone, because doing the best for me, would mean that best is what is best for all, as there is nothing better than that.
I commit myself to change everything about me that is relevant, especially as it concerns the superficial layer of my physical body, my skin, clothes, hair, make up even, teeth, eyes, odor, nails, feet, shoes, how I talk, walk, stand, where I look, how I move, how I take care of my body muscles and physique, all that so that I can be the best by having the most impact, and being as effective as I can be.
I recognize that our superficial layer of who we are is perhaps less than 1% of the totality of who we are, yet we place such great importance on that over the rest of ourselves. Strange.

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