“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Love and Relationships Day 161

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not getting married.
I forgive mysel ffor acceptin and allowing myself to fear not having kids
I foribe mysel ffor accepting and allwing myself to fear not having  awife.
I forgive mysel ffor accepting and allowing myself to fear not meeting my soul mate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot fear not meeting and getting with the perfect person for me.
I forgiv emyself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the opportunity for the relationship that is meant or destined for me.
I forgiv emyself for accepting and allowing mysefl to believe in destiny and fate.
I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as powerless because destiny and fate will decide my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope and desire for destiny and fate to exist so that I won't have to lose anything, or attempt to try to gain something, because all is already decided.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing things, or opportunities to gain something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having enough money to provide for my kids.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to provide the best for my kids and wife.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear doing irreversible harm to my wife or kids.


When and as I see myself- seeking a relationship, hoping or thinking about the perfect relationship - I stop and breathe- I realize that I don't need a relationship to be happy- I realize that relationships don't really give me anything, except an opportunity to get to know myself with another person, and that person - I realize that I will never be defined by the person I am with - I realize that no one can really harm me, that I am here always, that we are just physical- I realize that if I enter a relationship I will enter it for me - I realize that the purpose of human relationship of bringing children into this world is sacred, and must be respected and valued accordingly - I realize it takes a great amount of time and commitment to raise children, which is why two people are ideal rather than just one - I realize that the best relationship is one that is built and stands the test of time, and flourishes, grows, and opens up, like a tree, starting out like a seed, sprouting, and becoming sturdier and bigger throughout the years.

I commit myself to find self-happiness in living my commitments, who I am in my written and spoken words, and living in this world daily.
I commit myself to explore who I AM in relationships, my personalities, and characters, in writing, and testing, and realign myself in writing out self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.
I commit myself to enter into a relationship when I am ready to explore who I am, test who I am, and to build something sturdy that can serve both of us well.

I commit myself to consider seriously whether bringing children into this world is something I would choose to do.
I commit myself to if I start a relationship to do it full out, to make it the best relationship ever, and hold nothing back.


So i saw a photo of two people. I felt, love, or a good feeling. It reminds me of a memory, where I was like that way with another person myself. It reminds me of how I used to feel when hugging people. Of the physical touch, warm, feel of the fabric, hearing their chest move with breathing, and feeling my own muscles relaxed yet steady. I could describe it many ways, feeling trust, security, comfort, at ease, relaxed, safe, protected, like everything is alright or perfect. But now having written these words, I begin to feel sad. I remember when my relationship ended. I am reminded of how it is not actually here, now. How it is lost. One of the realizations that I wrote in my previous blogs was how emotions and feelings are not separate from me, so they can never really be lost. I see that in my memory, this good feeling expects that there be someone I am hugging, someone I am loving, for it to exist, be here, and not be lost. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that there be someone here in order for me to love and experience love as a feeling. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love as a feeling as requiring another person, other than myself, for it to be present, here, and exist. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a hug. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a relationship. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my definition of love, since, supposedely love is such a great thing, why limit it to something, and instead to include everything, every action, every thing. When and as I see myself experiencing love and so fear of loss - I stop and I breathe- i realize that love exists because i have limited love, or myself, to just a few things or actions, instead of all things and actions - I realize that limiting myself to a few things or actions creates fear - I realize that having a fixed perception, or name, or definition, or who I am, who YOgan, is limits me - I realize that I create myself with the definitions I have for myself, which creates a feeling and thought about who I am- I realize that I want to live without desires or expectations of me that are limited, instead of with desires that are unlimited, boundless, outside space and time- I commit myself to eliminate love by loving every action and thing I commit myself to include all things and actions into consideration I commit myself to eliminate fear by including all actions and things into consideration I xommit myself to be flexible, adaptable, and unfixed. I commit myself to not limit the definition of who I am, to limitations. I commit myself to have the highest expectations for me. - See more at: http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-quest-for-understanding-part-1.html#.dpuf
So i saw a photo of two people. I felt, love, or a good feeling. It reminds me of a memory, where I was like that way with another person myself. It reminds me of how I used to feel when hugging people. Of the physical touch, warm, feel of the fabric, hearing their chest move with breathing, and feeling my own muscles relaxed yet steady. I could describe it many ways, feeling trust, security, comfort, at ease, relaxed, safe, protected, like everything is alright or perfect. But now having written these words, I begin to feel sad. I remember when my relationship ended. I am reminded of how it is not actually here, now. How it is lost. One of the realizations that I wrote in my previous blogs was how emotions and feelings are not separate from me, so they can never really be lost. I see that in my memory, this good feeling expects that there be someone I am hugging, someone I am loving, for it to exist, be here, and not be lost. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that there be someone here in order for me to love and experience love as a feeling. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love as a feeling as requiring another person, other than myself, for it to be present, here, and exist. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a hug. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a relationship. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my definition of love, since, supposedely love is such a great thing, why limit it to something, and instead to include everything, every action, every thing. When and as I see myself experiencing love and so fear of loss - I stop and I breathe- i realize that love exists because i have limited love, or myself, to just a few things or actions, instead of all things and actions - I realize that limiting myself to a few things or actions creates fear - I realize that having a fixed perception, or name, or definition, or who I am, who YOgan, is limits me - I realize that I create myself with the definitions I have for myself, which creates a feeling and thought about who I am- I realize that I want to live without desires or expectations of me that are limited, instead of with desires that are unlimited, boundless, outside space and time- I commit myself to eliminate love by loving every action and thing I commit myself to include all things and actions into consideration I commit myself to eliminate fear by including all actions and things into consideration I xommit myself to be flexible, adaptable, and unfixed. I commit myself to not limit the definition of who I am, to limitations. I commit myself to have the highest expectations for me. - See more at: http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-quest-for-understanding-part-1.html#.dpuf
So i saw a photo of two people. I felt, love, or a good feeling. It reminds me of a memory, where I was like that way with another person myself. It reminds me of how I used to feel when hugging people. Of the physical touch, warm, feel of the fabric, hearing their chest move with breathing, and feeling my own muscles relaxed yet steady. I could describe it many ways, feeling trust, security, comfort, at ease, relaxed, safe, protected, like everything is alright or perfect. But now having written these words, I begin to feel sad. I remember when my relationship ended. I am reminded of how it is not actually here, now. How it is lost. One of the realizations that I wrote in my previous blogs was how emotions and feelings are not separate from me, so they can never really be lost. I see that in my memory, this good feeling expects that there be someone I am hugging, someone I am loving, for it to exist, be here, and not be lost. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that there be someone here in order for me to love and experience love as a feeling. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love as a feeling as requiring another person, other than myself, for it to be present, here, and exist. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a hug. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love according to a relationship. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my definition of love, since, supposedely love is such a great thing, why limit it to something, and instead to include everything, every action, every thing. When and as I see myself experiencing love and so fear of loss - I stop and I breathe- i realize that love exists because i have limited love, or myself, to just a few things or actions, instead of all things and actions - I realize that limiting myself to a few things or actions creates fear - I realize that having a fixed perception, or name, or definition, or who I am, who YOgan, is limits me - I realize that I create myself with the definitions I have for myself, which creates a feeling and thought about who I am- I realize that I want to live without desires or expectations of me that are limited, instead of with desires that are unlimited, boundless, outside space and time- I commit myself to eliminate love by loving every action and thing I commit myself to include all things and actions into consideration I commit myself to eliminate fear by including all actions and things into consideration I xommit myself to be flexible, adaptable, and unfixed. I commit myself to not limit the definition of who I am, to limitations. I commit myself to have the highest expectations for me. - See more at: http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-quest-for-understanding-part-1.html#.dpuf

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