“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Day-47: What is a Desire? How does it relate to who we are? Who have we accepted and allowed ourselves to be in relation to desire?

Who am i if i express according to a desire?
 I am stuck to that desire.

If i desire to follow the mind... i will follow the mind. The moment of stopping following the mind, is also the moment of stopping following the desire, and then you feel this friction, which is a resistance to change (see Physics JTL blog http://physicsjournettolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-118-physics-and-desteni-process.html)for a relevant analytical discussion on inertia and Newtons three Laws). So desires are things we follow.

Can we also live a desire? Does that even make sense? If we are living something, say waking up in the morning and moving with the body in breath, is that a desire? It seems redundant to say i desire to wake up in the morning and move with the body in breath, instead of I wake up in the morning and move with the body in breath, which to me is a complete statement of 'who i am' or who that person is. Would you agree or not agree?

(These are all words of course, though i am using them according to how i have defined them and much if not all of what i know of words have come for society, so i ask you guys who read this to ask yourselves these questions and make your own investigation with the topic under discussion here. )

Desire according to a dictionary for some reference:

desire |dəˈzī(ə)r|
noun
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen : [with infinitive ] a desire to work in the dirt with your bare hands.
• strong sexual feeling or appetite : they were clinging together in fierce mutual desire.

verb [ trans. ]
strongly wish for or want (something) : he never achieved the status he so desired | [as adj. ] ( desired) it failed to create the desired effect.
• want (someone) sexually : there had been a time, years ago, when he had desired her.

Thesaurus 
verb
1 they desired peace: want, wish for, long for, yearn for, crave, hanker after, be desperate for, be bent on, covet, aspire to; fancy; informal have a yen for, have a jones for, yen for, hanker after/for.
2 she desired him: be attracted to, lust after, burn for, be infatuated by; informal fancy, have the hots for, have a crush on, be mad about, be crazy about.

So one question we will attempt to answer is, is desire redundant?
So when i desire something i experience an unawareness of what i am actually participating within. It's like i am so fussed up with the desire and actually receiving it, that i am not even here to participate within and as my body within this environment in this moment; i experience less physically and there is less sensation. Moreover there is less awareness of future events, future moments, and future consequences. All that exist is this enraged possession of receiving my precious desire. Rather limiting isn't it? How are your experiences readers?

So, reexamining the initial question that I posed- at this point desire seems like a hindrance to living and functioning optimally with oneself in one's environment. Let's examine this further.

In my experience, when i constantly am going from one desire to the next, i become zombie like that there is only one thing on my mind. I feel dead. My breath becomes shallow. I gain massive inertia, which is the resistance to change (see blog). I Want To Give Up, I Want To Give In, I Want To Not Care Anymore. This Is Too Much, I Cannot Handle This. Leave Me Alone. All I Want Is This. These words are actually defined within desire through the "I want..." phrasing. Since desires are something we follow, then that entails these words have power over oneself as long as one follows them. Without following them then the desires are not influencing reality. Its not that simple though, to really remove these desires requires that oneself can not follow them each time the opportunity arises, that instead self-responsibility is taken, which is still relatively simple. This is part of the ongoing research at Desteni, where thousands of articles for self-study are presented, and several courses have been constructed from to provide greater ease and clarity within how the material is presented in parts. The mind is broken down in detail there.

The general research points to the conclusion that desires, as how we have currently defined them and accepted and allowed them to exist within ourselves and our reality, are not beneficial to life,  everyone, and ourselves. I leave the question remaining whether desires can be redefined, which is something we have to live and prove to ourselves, though this would require an initial stopping of who we are, which is a large enough process itself, so those who are ready, i suggest redefine desires, to support leading a life of dignity and integrity. Desires i notice are often made as a living statement of who we are, which are sometimes made in an unstable way. So i suggest trying the following phrasing/intended meaning, As Who I Am, I Desire to X... (walk, eat, write), and i suggest sticking to practicality with what you can achieve (its cool setting long-term goals), and also I would suggest to practice with immediate things, and always always be aware of what energy is moving within to see whether you are being influenced as who you are through the mind within separation of self. Also all of this is intended within self-responsibility. These words are not magic, lol, and are not to be abused for the purpose of enslaving oneself to the mind. Remember, you do this to yourself. This is also not a substitute for anything, keep walking your processes.

Have Fun

Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question how come i cannot remember these past months of my life, and see how i have been living even today, that this is clearly an indication of participating in the mind that i cannot remember, which for me is obvious that really i am not willing to remember, indicating fear, that memory is here as me, which lead me to question whether every instance where i forget something, it is due to a suppression, and unwillingness to remember what occurred for a particular reason.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear, without firstly being aware of the fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being afraid of what i fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose the easy route, where i remained unquestioning because i was too afraid, which even the phrase "because i was too afraid" is deceptive that i place who i am, within fear, that i somehow grant this thing as more responsible within directing my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to remain a slave to fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that i am the only one enslaving myself.
I commit myself to stand up within realizing i am self-responsible for myself, and all that occurs within me, which include fear, and the decision to live my life.

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