“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 23 Words as Who I Am, Why Removing Energetic Definitions on Words is Important.

For this blog I am going to take a memory I just had in my conscious mind. I had written a stream of consciousness as part of an assignment on what you perceive with ‘black.’ I wrote something like sitting on the ocean, laying in the waves feeling the blackness of where my eyes are closed and I simply am relaxed. I had read this to the class and then the teacher said wow, and then asked whether anyone else written something positive with black. Everyone else did not. I then saw the teacher saw me as special. And then I believed myself to be special. Whether he was thinking this or not, I gladly accepted his appraisal.
            So this point opened to a similar point of imagining a teacher being impressed with my work and sharing it with the class. I had made a commitment as a child to completely trust my teachers and listen to everything they said because they are teachers. There is no good reason to not question teachers or to not listen to self-honesty. In my case it worked out to place me in university. Though man! I struggled in university since my early school experience was simply memorizing. Now you had to know the material to a T such that you live as the information as a knowledge head. No guides or directions, simply be the guy that knows it all. How to write, speak and live the info. You don’t have time to question things really. And you can see in the memory point there is already the point that only those that get the teachers attention and approval will make it to elite universities.
           Another thing, what I wrote as part of my assignment was cool, but because my teacher saw it special and because everyone else had a negative picture to black, I thought I was somehow better, and so this is how physical placements supports the separation of humanity. I still am responsible for me however and how I now face this system and change it as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as special and so contribute to the enslavement of humanity to their own minds and thoughts, which are their creation, lived separately from themselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as special if someone expresses wow after I have said something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the words I wrote and spoke on the ocean and black as special or good, as an energetic reaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see self-honestly that thinking I am special and reacting to the thought I am special is dishonest and not who I am, as who I am is my words, and so to react to oneself is to separate yourself from your words and who you are. Which is expression here.
When and as is see myself reacting to my own words, I stop and I breathe – I realize my words are not something to place value on separately from commonsense and practically seeing words as words as communication of self – I realize my words are not separate from me and it is a lie to think they are separate from me and so create energy in that friction to attempt to make the lie real- I realize words are like breath, they are here and expressed in a moment- I realize that the relationship of energy and good/bad is divisive and so instead to unite all under the common banner of life that we are here equal and one.
I commit myself to forgive any separation from words through energetic judgments
I commit myself to align words to myself and so not allow judgments of words as that would lead to separation.
I commit myself to walk one point at a time so as to be effective in what I do and better see where I am accepting and allowing ulterior motives known as energy relationships that I still have within me.

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