“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Sharing how I use the physical to support myself to be here. D105

So im going to make this blog about reviewing over a helpful thing that I do to support me to stand and direct myself to not fall into the mind, in moments such as video game playing and porn viewing in moments where it is not appropriate. So just to say it, I bring myself to the physical. To be frank, I rediscovered this point within masturbation. I say rediscovered because I have applied this point before but I had stopped, mainly out of fear of this point that it may have been fake or untrustworthy. So it was the mind convincing me that something that was supporting me was actually bad or harming me. So just to talk about the point of masturbation a bit, to make it an little of an introduction, I have been practicing masturbation as a point of being here with my body and directing and moving myself without image or thoughts. So when I do this the objective is to not be thinking of any man, women, any sexual, nothing. So totally no thought. So what I would sometimes do when their was a thought was to immediately forgive this thought, within the realization/reminder that I do not need this thought to direct me and enjoy myself within masturbation. Because I am simply me, here, moving myself, that’s it. It something so intimate and personal. So, later I would also just say stop and I also applied other things to stop. So like the other night, I had so many thoughts coming, and I just could not take it anymore so I had to find a way to stop, and that was when I remembered and got back to the physical point, or using my physical body as a reference to reality and no thinking. So its like I would stop moving and just focusing totally on my body and have a moment of silence. Once there was silence and there was no thinking I would continue with the masturbation. And I would repeat, as another thought would speak. So if there was anything in my mind at all, I would have to stop it. So after having rediscovered the physical point, of bringing myself here to my physical and you could say physical reality, because I would actually perceive more, or shall I say, perceive what is here, like the sounds outside my window, the sound of my breathing etc… Everything, touch, sound, pressure, you name it. SO when I have been bringing myself to the physical, I notice I could stand up, and not think a certain thought, like stop participating or allowing a thought or reaction to move me. So when earlier today for example I had a thought about two people I met while I was having a conversation with them, and I felt a sort of insecurity in speaking, I brought my awareness to the physical point and I reminded myself, well duh of course I can speak. So I then disregarded the thought as irrelevant and even just a plain lie. So yeah, Im pretty sure this physical point can work with any mind thing, and its really about honesty, that’s it, nothing special. Because its just about knowing what’s real, which is what is here, and you see it or test it for yourself. Good luck.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard this physical body and reality, and so disregard myself as this body and as this physical reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing any separation from the physical.
I commit myself to always be here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the mind as this big scary thing that I need to get rid of because its evil.
I commit myself to use the mind as a tool and support for myself.
I commit myself to use the physical as a tool and support for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how the actual physical processes of the mind, that are used through space and time, i.e. memory, are physical processes that are measurable in the brain and thus can be directed by me as an expression of myself. So in this way the observable mind is physical, and thus can be directed.

I commit myself to direct the mind fully to serve the point of what is best for all, or the interests of everyone as what is best for ourselves as everyone/thing.

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