Yogan's Journey to Life

So one of the purposes of this blog will be to expose the negative and positive within me and how those is being patterned within everyone. How we as individuals live in a systematic predictable way, using the positive and negative as the excuses to live so. So I will make posts on my use of the positive and negative and describe the systemic behavior, emotional, thought patterns within me. This is an open journey so I do not know what twists and turns I will make, however this is where I will start. It will be cool to write 100 posts on 100 different patterns/systems. So this is my commitment to do this cool thing.

I have this weird sensation in my ear, so Im going to say self-forgiveness until it stops. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to hide secrets from me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be completely open with myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am evil. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste time in thoughts about who I am, instead of how I will live and what I will do with my life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to care about what other people think who I am. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give such value to the words that we as society share amongst ourselves and within heads, that I get completely lost in what the words mean, instead of focusing on the real meaning and only meaning which is ourselves, the actual life of our bodies and the things surrounding us in the physical world. I forgive myself for accepting and allo...

Throughout the day I am riddle with thoughts about what other people think: about me, about this, that, whether they feel happy, sad, angry. As a result I feel so overwhelm with guilt and self-consciousness, and blah, that I start thinking stuff on the line of I have to kill myself. It gets  filled up like a steam cannon and I just feel like I have no way out, and so I implode in a sense. But when I stop thinking about what other people think I already feel a bit relieved and the backchat loses its power, and I can take an assuring breath. By stop I mean I literally just stop within myself. I just do it. I stop. And it works as long as I stop in each moment. And now I can see that all thoughts are me, are my thoughts. Before I couldn't. So I guess the lesson is when you think about what other people think you start believing that your thoughts are not your own responsibility, they are in a sense not yours, which is not true. So stop thinking about what other people think, if...