“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Day 4 When you feel Hurt

Imagine,
hearing the sound of people that you loved and cared about and were completely committed to, making sounds of wanting you out, cheering for you to be gone, being completely against you and knowing that the reason is because someone is manipulating them and telling them lies.

Imagine,
the first person you ever kissed, who you were completely committed to, and wanted to be with and spend time with, telling you that they don't want to spend time with you anymore and that you are a burden to them.

Imagine that you blamed yourself.

There is absolute suffering, hell, devastation within you. You heart is shattered. Your in constant suffering within yourself. You feel remorse and grief. You feel pain and anguish. You want to cry from the pain you feel.   You are traumatized.
You are stuck and frozen in time.

Do you have any preparation for this? Is there anyone that can actually assist you properly?
Because getting angry, wanting revenge and blaming.... are not answers.

The answer is to forgive what you feel. Forgive the pain, the suffering, the torment, the rottenness, the anguish, the pity, the wallow, the sorrow, the regret, grief. What you feel is not YOU. What you feel is what you are FEELING. What you felt when you were with them was not real. The happiness, the joy, the love, the connection are not something real. They are feelings. They are what you feel. They are not who you are. Yet that is all who you accepted and allowed yourself to be in that moment. So that was a mistake and lie to yourself. A self-dishonesty. If you didn't deceive yourself in seeing what you feel as real then you wouldn't have accepted it and allowed the feeling and you wouldn't have created devastation and remorse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel traumatised, effected, hurt, sorrow, sadness, pain and suffering when people in my life leave me and I felt close to them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel close to people, to feel happiness, and joy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel extra sad, especially hurt when people who I felt very strongly for, turn against me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself out for feeling and feeling good, and to allow myself to then pay the price of being hurt and traumatized.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live for feeling good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel hate for people.

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