“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Monday, August 3, 2015

Pockets of emotions 324




https://eqafe.com/p/pocketful-of-energy-reptilians-part-420
Pocket full of energy.


So I had a listen to this interview the other day. And the other day, I believe I faced a pocket of energy. So I was within looking at something, a particular topic. It was actually while writing a recent blog. And from this perception, I had like this thought or belief, which I took as true. But now that I slowed it down, it was a pocket of energy or emotion, depression. So it's like, while going through the topics, I happened upon a bump in the road. So it was there, and it was like a pocket in the sense that it is contained, and placed on this topic. It already existed, probably fed and built in the past, and it was simply there is storage, waiting to be faced, or bumped into. So I bumped into. I felt the emotion, and it felt familiar as well, especially when it came to this topic that it connected to. So like how the interview described, it was hanging there, which for me its like a sack hanging from somewhere. So it is connected to this topic.

So just to explain to the reader, that when you are in an emotion, your perception and what you are aware of is distorted, and limited. You do not see the full picture and what little you do see is distorted, and tainted. So for me, now looking at this and what I went through, it is interesting. What I committed myself to do is to watch out for such pockets of energy. Where there will be a moment while I am living and doing things, even looking at things, where I will just come upon a bump in the road, and there will be an energy there. This energy is defined, condensed, held tightly in place and position, and it is ready there, waiting to be bumped into. It will be familiar, and there will be some history to it. So it is to watch out for this. So that I question it, and step out of it, and understand what is going on. So really in one moment to the next, your experience changes completely. It is not so gradual or slow, remember it is there waiting. I didn't feel overwhelmed or powerless. In that moment I didn't know what was going on, and I did believe it was me and my perception. A flag though was that it was a familiar experience, especially when it came to the topic. And the emotion, and the stance I took to the topic was familiar. So I have been in these shoes and in that position before. So I could say there was a level of trust because it was familiar, where I could so easily and readily accept it and go into it. So its my history with it. So that is one thing I can forgive, to trust that which is familiar. Because familiar in itself only means that you have a history. And if you trust what is familiar, then you are only trusting that which has always been in the past, so you are doomed to repeat the past forever. Familiarity, is something I have valued, and trusted. This trust and value is misguided. Real trust and value would exist in something that you see, understand, introspect, dissect, test out, and see for its consistency and reliability, within it serving what is best for all. The statement that this is how things have always been, as a justification or excuse speaks to this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust that which feels familiar, and so state that I trust the past, and what has always been, and so dooming me to always and only repeat my past, history and what has always been, never in awareness seeing what my history and past is in fact is, before I make any decision. Therefore before you decide you must assess. Trusting on a feeling, is not an assessment, and it would seem ludicrous to call it a decision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jeopardize my future, my welling being, the well being and future of everyone around me, through trusting the past, because it feels good, to feel 'familiarity.'

And so, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future, to fear change, to fear making an assessment of the past, of what is here, of a good feeling, to see what is practically best to do here, now and so for the future, for me and everyone.


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