“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Feeling Energetic. What is it? A lesson on the importance of making decisions 258


Feeling Energetic.
What is it?
When I feel energetic, as energy, I am motivated to go and do that which is triggering me to feel energetic. Energetic is me moving myself with energy, towards energy, for energy. It is encapsulated with the words, I FEEL ALIVE!!!!   And I FEEL SO GOOD!!!! I am an ENERGETIC PERSON!!!!

A consequence of participating in this Personality, is tiredness, at least the perception, and manifestation thereof, which occurs through a process of accessing this personality regularly, and being the downside to the upside of the personality. Encapsulated within the phrase, what goes up, must come down.

The questions I have, are: why must some things be reasons for me to feel energetic? Why am I not choosing who I want to be, and what I want to do, and how I want to be in the moment? Why am I placing such value on this experience I call feeling Energetic? Why am I not placing such value in who I am, in every moment?

This personality has taken on new triggers over the years, things I could say, "makes me feel energetic" (scare quotes.) When in reality my personality has just been evolving to take on new triggers. All the while, the base program is the same. Only what triggers are used may grow or expand. The experience is the same, and the consequence is as well. I am either energetic or I am tired. I have one final question, why are we as society accept it to be normal, that our Motivation, is a reason why we do poorly on tasks or responsibilities, or why we achieve success, and why we like to do things, or don't like things? Because the truth is staring us in the face, isn't it? We are always choosing who we are, either by acceptance and allowance, or by direct creation. Saying, and so placing the responsibility on our Motivation, is separating us from a part of ourselves. The phrase "I was not motivated" is an excuse.

The way of thinking that was just described, I have seen in myself, as well as everyone I spoke to, when it came to the topic, of "what I like to do," "what am I good at," "what my dreams or wishes are," etc... So it virtually is in all of us. So problems related to being successful, and being healthy, and well, cannot be blamed on our school system, money system, government system, because the system that is limiting us in taking responsibility, has been right here all along. We haven't had any real choice in this life, and we won't until we can actually make a choice, that isn't based within energy.

It's time we end this excuse within us. It's time to end this limitation. We are all capable of much more than what we been restricting ourselves to while making choices within what is "motivating" or "makes us feel energetic."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to restrict myself to only what makes me feel energetic or motivated, and so deny myself in doing that which doesn't make me feel energetic and motivated, instead of living within making an assessment of practical factors for decision making purposes that align with a principle that is best for everyone, including me.

I commit myself to stop myself when I feel this energy rising within myself, I call energetic, wherein I am reacting and responding to something in my environment or in my mind, and to breathe.   I realize that to following decisions based on energy are not real decisions, they are reactions. Decisions and reactions are not the same thing. To decide right now in this moment, is a decisions. To react right now, is a reaction. They are two completely different things. And I realize that it is always preferable to make decisions, because it uses more information, it is deeper, more thorough and complete, whereas a reaction uses little information and only touches the surface of what is available. I realize that I tend to hurt myself, physically, financially, and personally, more so when I react, versus when I make a decision. In addition, while I may make errors in making decisions, I learn more from moments where I made a decisions that turned into an undesirable result, versus moments where I react, and it leads to the same result. Reactions are typically done within little awareness, so the potential for growth or learning is small. At best, my reactions are teaching me to stop my reactions, by being here, attentive, and making decisions. 

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