“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Friday, December 26, 2014

What is my self-value? Where does self-value come from? 217



So today I experienced something unusual. That is thinking about my diet, and some other things, such as about my dog. When I would start thinking about things, this would create non-existent problems. So I am creating a flag for this generalized thinking that occurs with seemingly random things, such as with my dog or with food. What I notice within this thinking is that I would start to feel emotional, mainly sad and worried. This would lead/fuel a greater motivation to think more about these things and correct these problems, which before were non-existent. What I notice in general about this specific kind of thinking is that it relates to fixing problems.

So I would create a problem in my mind, and I would then think about how to fix it. This would lead to a panic, where I felt worried, scared. Within this panic and thought, I would try and fix things, but really be feeding and validating the non-existent problems. I notice this generally happening in the world in Veganism/Vegetarianism, Healthy eating, How to stay young and healthy, How to take care of your pets, etc... In general there is a fear of loss, whether it be beauty, youth, health, or your pets... This is still existent within me, and it relates to valuing such things, and that value is made equal to my self-value. So I have valued myself based on how I have valued, my youth, my strength/health, my appearance/beauty, and my dog/pet.

My most recent blogs have been about these individual points: beauty/appearance and self-value or worth. These aforementioned points are all on where my self-value/worth has been placed in separation of me/self by placing it in aspects or parts of myself or in other objects/people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-value and self-worth within my current state of my physical body, whether it is young in appearance, in a healthy state, or strong in stature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-value and self-worth within my relationship with my dog/pet Shana, and whether she responds to me and is energetic or excited-looking while I am around.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-value and self-worth within my intelligence and knowledge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-value and self-worth within my popularity, and likeability.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my self-value and self-worth within being right.

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