“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Resistance is futile. Day 173

So it has been about a week, around ten days,  since I have opened up a point, and wrote self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements. Something I find interesting is how in this moment, the very moment that I type these words, I experience a resistance to sharing and speaking about me specifically and the changes and the ways I have changed. There are two choices here, I can push through this and write about the changes I have lived first, or I can write it later, and I can write about this resistance first.

I am considering that this resistance is a veil, so its not something I can take down in one go. i can however, write down one thread of this veil, which would be writing out this blog and thus acting out this action of sharing.

So, there were many moments, during the past days where I was given the opportunity to create conflict with something or someone. Something I find assistive to me is to provide a broad overview of these instances, because then I can look at the overall pattern by taking these instances and seeing what they all have in common.

I started embracing and liking eveyone's facebook point, as I sign of support, as well as commenting from a starting point of support. So in essence being non-threating and accepting of their decisions/choices. Also, not asking them to change.

I listened to and followed all of my mothers requests, and was grateful within and as myself that she reminded me to clean my room and my dishes.

I said yes to my fathers with points that he expressed, seeing the value of his word and perspective, even though within me there were points that I wanted to expressed, I held back and said yes, listening to him. Within understanding him, I could better respond and speak, to give specific support related to him and his life experience. I also learned things that I never knew or could imagine possible for him to live, which gave great insight.


So those are three examples, and there seems to be a pattern, hmmmmmm.......
I would stop myself, and breathe, I wouldn't speak immediately, but also assess first, how/who can I be so that I can be a point of support for this person that has entered my immediate presence. I have been doing this with strangers, which sometimes involves guess-work, though one point is clear, that when a person is excited, and energetic, like their voice is raising, to be calm and relax, and gentle in my voice as well as being agreeable. This movement worked for calming me down, and so far it works for others as well.. Another application is taking a noticeable deep breath, which the sound can be heard by the other person, reminding them to breathe, and be aware of their breath.

Something I did with my dog, hahahaha, I would make a high pitch hum sound that would make him excited and fussed up, as a way to play with him. He does this sound too as a way to express himself too.

I notice the change in these people (and my dog) immediately. I have another dog, who does not change visually while doing this, and she is usually more stable, present, not easily excitable.

Something I observe is how when you're energetic and all fussed up, you essentially become blind to what is here, and what you speak usually have holes in it, and is not clear. I notice too that directly challenging or questioning these holes, only leads the person to become more defensive, and generate more energy. So like with thought out tactics, the best way would be to focus firstly on lowering the energy levels, through showing the person you mean no threat. Like lowering the shields in star trek. You need to indicate to the other person that they can lower their shields, by being agreeable, and expressing agreement with their perspective, and/or deeply breathing loudly and/or speaking in a gentle soft, and possibly high pitch. You can also sound syllables without stress, which is surprisingly soothing. These are points I have lived, and there could be many more applications. I notice the first step is to soothe oneself which is how/why I initially applied these points. I wrote a blog about living acceptance within applying self-forgiveness to create a space of no resistance, and where change, and lasting change is possible.What I notice is that the energy levels dissipate immediately when applying this.

You then can speak in a non-threatening way, and you will notice the change in the other person, when compared to what would happen previously. And it all starts with you which is pretty cool.

http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/09/resentment-envy-disempowerment-desires.html

Some side-effects, as i am calling them, that have also occurred is that I am speaking more excited when I have the opportunity to do so, and speaking in playful ways, which is a decision, so its like I have choice now, which wasn't there before. I suspect its due in part in having no threats to people, not desiring conflict with people or desiring peace, that I can speak this way because my own defenses are dropping. I notice too in small moments, where I could react, but I don't, and choose to make peace and let go. In general, things appear more quiet than before, and there are still remnants of thoughts, though its more like a leaf falling on a still lake, creating a rippling. So there's a choice now to stop it, with ease. Before it was like the world was ending with each thought I had. Now I just want peace with the world and everything.

So witthin all of this I realize and continue to live that all war and conflict of any sort is unnecessary as well as harmful, by the point that one is not actually living with everyone in peace. As long as fighting and resistance towards any point exist, then that constitutes separation. This includes the mind, as nothing is evil, and to be resisted. If you resist rape, or murder, war, or even resistance itself, that leads to no peace. By firstly starting with accepting what is here, as it exist, you can look and investigate how to practically change something. This is commonsense. That is why the first step in looking at yourself is to first stop resisting yourself and what you see. So within so without, the same point applies with every other point. Resistance is futile, as it is pointless.

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