“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Meeting the people of this world Day 172

So a point regarding calling and meeting new people or strangers. There is one particular memory or moment in the past this is still active within meeting new people and creating new relationships with them. The first girl I kissed, we had a relationship that lasted a week. I was just entering college, and I was really excited and looking forward to making great friendships. She broke off our relationship, and afterwards, I had went to her room to speak to her, and told how I still saw her as a cool person and would want to continue our relationship in whatever capacity that she saw fit. Within that moment my body went into this position. My head tilted to the right, my arms felt heavy, like I couldn’t move them and my shoulders drop, and I was leaning on my right leg. I remember looking her in the eyes, and experiencing this shift of my body as more comfortable than if I had tried standing normally. So I expressed myself in that moment and took a stand in the capacity I could, and I felt good within having done that. I had felt crappy before because I was continuously thinking about the situation of our breakup.
So I had all these hopes and dreams of making friendships with people, but it all dissipated and dissolved. I was left in disappointment, and it was like I became so afraid of that point that I never dare go there again, to really be honest, state, and explain/share who I am. Now within what I am doing now, my real self needs to be here, because what I am doing as my business is something real, meaning it is really a service to the people, and it is really the value it has in dollars. It isn’t a get rich quick scheme, it isn’t a fake or a lie, like most things are. It is actually legitimate, and actually represents who I am and what I truly stand for, a world of honesty, truth, justice, within recognizing we are all one and equal. This is what I understood as a child. But I didn’t express or share this point with anyone, REALLY.
So, simplistically, I need to become a little kid again, back to looking at each person and seeing the same person as myself in them. So seeing the potential of friendship, support, and understanding. So being brave enough to seek that point each time with each person, in simply stating and sharing/explaining who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry with people, because becoming angry with people is the same as becoming angry with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the greatness and wonder that exists in and as each human being.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from any human being through the words I participate silently in my head.

When and as I see myself creating separation between me and another person through thinking- I stop and I breathe- I realize that we are one and equal.
I commit myself to approach and speak to each person in my world, as if I was talking to myself, recognizing them as a real person that is an individual, physically separate, in the sense of having their own individual body, yet one and equal with me in terms of design and structure of the human body, and in our life force.

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