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Showing posts from October, 2013

War: Transforming Inner conflict to absolute standing.

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So to place a different perspective on war, to transform it from a point of inner conflict and struggle, to mastery of self-will and dedication to perform one's utmost in the physical. Also, with this determination that was developed through self one gains the capacity to create the world around him. So war can be fought, but of course your starting point determines everything. So if your starting is everyone, all life forms, than you will find a way to ensure all life forms are taken care of and can grow to their utmost. When I speak of wars, I am not only talking of arm conflicts, but of any point that can be called a war. Fighting in conversations, disputes, attacks, legal matters, whatever. There are moments when other human beings are struggling to create the world for their own personal gain at the expense of others, and then we must fight and say no more. This is a decision one takes on as with everything. At the time, everything we buy is already at the expense of another.

My Story: I must Stand

I was in my final year of college. I felt nervous about the whole thing. I was mostly nervous about my senior thesis, which is this year long project. I felt nervous about picking the right topic for me. I felt that I had the obligation to do something that was personal. At the same time I felt scared because I was already expecting that the people in my life would not understand why I am picking something so strange or unusual. Why not pick something easy? Why not pick something you know you can finish? Why not pick something that uses the available resources in front of you? Because those things should not ultimately decide what it is I will do. Because the most important thing is picking a topic that I would be glad fighting tooth and nail for, because it has something of value to offer to everyone. And I felt scared, and I knew that it was alright because I was standing up. So I learned to let no one, nothing, not fear or anything define me. That I must define m

Feelings and reactions to something I read day109

I feel like I have been attacked personally. I feel threatened. I decided to read an article that was posted on BIEN that talked about how ELF was somehow abusing BIG to gain money, among other accusations. I did comment on the article. I felt like a real tightness within me. I remember having this crazy fear that if I read what the Haters say that I would somehow be convinced and turned to the dark side. Of course that is silly, but also a real problem. Because whatever I fear, I actually create for myself in reality. So I will actually allow whatever I read and watch to affect me, no matter the source. So that has to stop, this fear, because I do not want to create myself like that, like an open sponge that will soak and become whatever it touched. Instead I want to stand within a point of oneness and equality, and realize that I am one and equal with the haters. I can see how as the haters there is the fear of the unknown, which I have experienced. I can see how when you become so e

My Story: The Gift You Can Only Give Yourself

My Story: The Gift You Can Only Give Yourself When I was around 13 years of age, my parents sat me, my brother and sister down and led us within a session of meditation. My parents were really interested in Eckhart Tolle at the time. I, naturally, was interested in Eckhart Tolle as well. My brother and sister did not take to Eckhart Tolle the same way I did. I read his book the Power of Now. One thing I took from my parents and from reading Eckhart Tolle's book was that it was important to stop the mind or to get enlightened. Because the mind or unconsciousness was the cause of human misunderstanding and the self-inflicted harm we do to ourselves. So this was something I kept close to my heart. I took this idea very seriously. I felt out of place from those around me. I felt that no one understood me. In some ways I felt I did not understand myself. I just spoke, and I would search for words within myself, words that sounded right, that when I said them I felt they were the right

Self-forgiveness Day108

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-forgive in order to feel good, and avoid feeling bad. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be honest whenever I can be honest without harm or injury to myself. I fear that my honesty will lead to a limitation of opportunities for me. But I also realize that if I am not honest, what chance do we have to get out of the mess we have made for ourselves? I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that whatever is the result that is best for all, is worth whatever risks and changes I have to make in how live.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Attention-seeker D107

In some ways I see myself as a lesser man than 12 months ago. I have become more daring and more risking, but these qualities alone mean nothing. I used to judge certain people who we social, smiling all the time, as sort of correct, and who I was as being quiet, which I did not see myself as quiet or that as a problem, but that others saw me as quiet and I saw that that was a problem, because it was a problem to them. SO I have to learn not to take what other people think are problems with me, as a real problem. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on what other people think are a problem for myself and judge that as a good thing.   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take what I think other people will have a problem with me, as a problem for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take what other people think is a problem for me, that I am quiet, and make that into a problem where I think I the solut

mONEy mONEy mONEy D106

So one cool opened up today pertaining to money. Everytime you spend money you are supporting someone. And everytime you hoard money, you are denying supporting someone with money. So money is like a support and its cool to realize that when you hire someone to help you out, that you are supporting them with a job and so money, which is a way for the person to now support him/her self. Of course money can be abused to get brainwashing things or support addictions/habits. But regardless some of that money will end up supporting the person’s basic needs. And with that support a person can overcome their addiction with effort and time, because once you have established a addiction, it takes time to get out of it, or learn how to stop. So that is why I support the LIG as a solution to provide everyone with the essential support they need, which without we would be end up in compromising situations. We have a right to live free from this planet and be provided with the t

Sharing how I use the physical to support myself to be here. D105

So im going to make this blog about reviewing over a helpful thing that I do to support me to stand and direct myself to not fall into the mind, in moments such as video game playing and porn viewing in moments where it is not appropriate. So just to say it, I bring myself to the physical. To be frank, I rediscovered this point within masturbation. I say rediscovered because I have applied this point before but I had stopped, mainly out of fear of this point that it may have been fake or untrustworthy. So it was the mind convincing me that something that was supporting me was actually bad or harming me. So just to talk about the point of masturbation a bit, to make it an little of an introduction, I have been practicing masturbation as a point of being here with my body and directing and moving myself without image or thoughts. So when I do this the objective is to not be thinking of any man, women, any sexual, nothing. So totally no thought. So what I would sometim

Reacting to the sound of someone's voice D104

I am writing now, even though I feel tired, and I had a long day. I will be waking up early tomorrow, but I wanted to spend at least 15min writing. So if I do some self-introspection. One thing that was interesting for me was how I had reacted with a smile and a sort of warmth in my heart sort of feeling when my aunt was saying how my cousin loved me. For me I notice one prominent thing I reacted to was the sound of my aunt’s voice, which was high pitched. I can imagine if it were low pitched that it would have much less of an effect, at least that it was it would appear to me when I take on this possible moment. I also notice that if I were to imagine it to be a guy, like if my aunt was a guy, that I would react more if she/he would speak in a deeper voice. Like if he.she would be speaking slowly, but confidently or dramatic. So I would to summarize this as reacting to my own learned associations to some sets of voices and sounds, like male and females, and high an

Betterment D103

I feel inadequate. I feel not good enough. This is what I feel when I think about writing today for my JTL blog. Its the end of the day now. I was painting my aunt’s old house, which will now be rented. I am helping to paint it which is more because it’s a family favor. They could pay someone to do the work, but they say they don’t have money. When I look at what they spend sometimes, to me they seem to have money. It seems to me that everyone is very greedy and willing to abuse others to have the most money, even if its very little. I wouldn’t paint it for money, I wouldn’t paint it all, especially if they would have the money. Of course my family, like what seems like everyone else, has a large debt. All because of stupid selfish reasons. Many americans are stupid, and waste so much money. I mean they waste their lives away too with other things, which they buy with money, like relationships, vacations to Disney World, or music, parties, dances, clubs, strip clubs