“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Day 123 Making Eye Contact


Today, I woke up. I went to Ikea with my mom. We ate breakfast there. She bought some things. We came back home. I saw my dad a bit. I watched a hunger games movie with my sister.

So when I was in the Ikea store, I saw this blond haired girl. She was with her family shopping. I felt a reaction. I felt nervous. I looked away, I avoided eye contact with her. And as she turned in another direction, I felt more comfortable: at peace, to now look. I saw she had black-rimmed glasses.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when seeing the blond haired girl.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid eye contact with this girl.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when I was in a position where I could look in her eyes and she could look back. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel comfortable when I was in a position to look at this girl without her being able to look back at me, and see me looking at her.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking at the girl knowing that I am looking at her.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen by the girl, and knowing that she is looking at me.
When and as I see myself feeling nervous, when I am approached with a girl face to face – I stop and breathe- I realize eye contact is important to be able to do with another person-
I commit myself to make eye contact with the people I meet.

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