“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Math- memory

I was helping out a friend with math, and I was using a scientific calculator. When I was making certain quick movements with my fingers I saw a picture of my math classroom where I had I used a scientific calculator before. I felt energetic: nervous and excited. I didn't question the energy. For me it was something normal, something I had felt many times over again within my math classes and various other classes. Now that I can look back on the point I see how the energy is overwhelming for me, and is very heavy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate energy within me of exctiement and nervousness while using the graphing calculator, with specific movements of my fingers.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing melf to access the image of my statistics classroom where I used the graphing calculator when I had used the graphing calculator this night.
And so I forgive myself for accepting and allownig myself to charge this image within me of the statistics classroom with positive energy as excitement and negative energy as nervousness.

When and as I am in a setting where i am working with math or math related ideas or subjects- I stop and breather and check with myself if there is any energy, positive or negative, and I remove them, and remain here- I realize already many times over how energy of any kind, positive and negative always leads to me being less than what I am capable of which, is full self-direction and movement of myself, in the most intricate and intimate ways, that I do not require energy whatsoever, and energy is like the middle man- completely not necessary, which only leads to waste and inefficiency, and lack of vision, clarity and insights to what is here.
I commit myself to move myself within teaching math, instructing math, using math, and other various scenarios that deal with math.

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