“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Reacting to the sound of someone's voice D104


I am writing now, even though I feel tired, and I had a long day. I will be waking up early tomorrow, but I wanted to spend at least 15min writing. So if I do some self-introspection. One thing that was interesting for me was how I had reacted with a smile and a sort of warmth in my heart sort of feeling when my aunt was saying how my cousin loved me. For me I notice one prominent thing I reacted to was the sound of my aunt’s voice, which was high pitched. I can imagine if it were low pitched that it would have much less of an effect, at least that it was it would appear to me when I take on this possible moment. I also notice that if I were to imagine it to be a guy, like if my aunt was a guy, that I would react more if she/he would speak in a deeper voice. Like if he.she would be speaking slowly, but confidently or dramatic. So I would to summarize this as reacting to my own learned associations to some sets of voices and sounds, like male and females, and high and low pitches. And each set has a sort of different reaction that I have attached to it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach to a female voice being high, with fuzzy love like feelings of warmth and happiness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach to a male voice being deep with a very attentive and sort of awe stricken feeling.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach to a female voice being deep, a sort of fearful reaction, where I fear her being angry with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach to a male voice being high, an annoying reaction where I feel annoyed, and think of them as geeky or maybe gay.
I commit myself to not react to a person based upon the pitch or sex of their voice.
I commit myself to command  myself and direct myself entirely as the physical and to not be moved by any point, where only I move me.

No comments:

Post a Comment