Looking in a young woman's eyes day76
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I was walking to the cashier line. A young woman was in line
waiting to pay for her food. She was looking at me. I looked back. For a moment
we looked at each other. She then turned away. I built the expectation that she
was now interested in me, because I showed interest in her. So I expected that
she might look at me again. She was finishing paying her things, meaning that
she would soon leave. I kept my face away, so as to not appear to be looking. I
was looking out of the corner of my eye. I did not see anything that indicated
that she looked. I felt nervous. I see a fear of loss, of trying to get a
relationship and it not working out, and I am there standing alone looking like
a loser.. A picture of myself looking sad standing in a dark space, I look
moppy. A song places “Im a freak, Im a weirdo…”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect
that because the young woman was looking at me, that must mean she was
interested in me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach
the picture of the young woman in a wedding dress with church bells going off,
and white flower petals flying in the air to the words “the young woman was
looking at me”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
the picture of the young woman in a wedding dress with church bells going off,
and white flower petals flying in the air with the energy known as nervousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
the picture of the young woman in a wedding dress with church bells going off,
and white flower petals flying in the air with the energy known as love.
When and as I see a young woman looking at me and I feel
nervous/love as energy, I stop and I breathe – I realize that if a
woman/someone looks at me that I can smile.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when I
look at a young woman that it means that I am communicating sexual interest in her to
her.
When and as I see a someone looking at me- I stop and I
breath- I realize that someone staring right at you does not mean they are
interested in sex or in a relationship with you, instead they are just looking
at you- similarly, I realize, when I look at someone it does not mean I am
saying I am interested in sex or a relationship with that person, even though
the other person may think so, this is not what I am communicating, I am simply
looking at another person.
I commit myself to look at people in the eyes.
I commit myself to look at peoples faces.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
losing being the one that is asked to be in the relationship.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
being rejected when I communicate that I would like to form a relationship with
another being (agreement).
I forgive myself
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a picture of myself looking
sad standing in a dark space, and looking moppy, to seeing if a girl is
interested in me, when it turns out she wasn’t.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
the picture of myself looking sad standing in a dark space, and looking moppy
with nervousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
connect the picture of myself looking sad standing in a dark space, and looking
moppy to the song “Im a freak, Im a weirdo…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word: Female
-sexy
hot
-good looking
-a tease
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
connect the word ‘sexy’ to the
word Female.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
connect the word ‘hot’ to the word Female.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
connect the words ‘good looking’ to the word ‘female’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
connect the words ‘a tease’ to the word female.
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