day64- writing

I am in a mass amount of work.
Writing this out, I feel calmer like I can complete my work.
I have several things to account for and complete throughout the next 9 days.
Taking deep breaths helps me focus. I can feel the blood rushing to my brain, in slow, steady beats.

The fear of failure. I allowed in a moment long ago, to participate in the fear of failure so completely that I never wanted to try again. I never wanted to stand up. I felt I was nothing, powerless. There is an element of not knowing- the fear of not knowing, whether I would succeed or not- and this scared me.
Breathe, be here, and direct myself.
These were words I repeated over to myself, until I lived it and stood up.  Accepting and allowing even one thought is to accept and allow the mind and to give up directive principle. Always stand as directive principle. Breathing helps to discharge what energy has its hold of you. Though breathing cannot replace you standing up and taking directive principle. This does not work, only breathing and hoping things will change. I have to change it, otherwise it would be another point of enslavement, and we have not realized what oneness and equality practically entails.
Oneness and equality requires that we see everyone as ourselves. The people that we fear, the people around us, the people in our daily lives, everyone is us. We could have easily been in their situation, made their choices, been in their position. We are not so unique and special as we would like to believe. From those we hate, to those we love, we are one and equal to them. We have either made the same mistakes as them or are making those mistakes right now as ourselves. We are capable of learning. We are capable of being equal to the smartest man, the most revered people. We are capable of everything. We are one and equal. We are one and equal to each other, and ourselves. We are one and equal to what we accept and allow. We are not separate from the whole, and what affects the whole affects us, whether we are aware of it or not. We commit the greatest harm in unawareness and neglect. We are responsible for everything, including what we do not do, or choose not to do. We are responsible because we are capable of everything. We are capable of standing up- by the fact we do not stand up means we can stand up. It means we are responsible. Even the people who see themselves as inferior as just as responsible as the most greedy of us. There are no exceptions to this responsibility- if there were then they would simply not exist- because this existence is responsible for itself, as one and equal. To not exist, to not care, to be apathetic, to be neutral is the worst fate- its the point of giving up control/power to change or affect change. It is simply to not exist. Yet, you still exist and are just as responsible, and on top of that already have allowed greater harm to be done- because you have harmed yourself- and what harms yourself- harms existence. We are equal and one.




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