The Self is the key. You are the key. If you want to make things better, focus on yourself. Do you have a relationship with yourself? Are you able to hold yourself and know yourself? Do you know what you are feeling? Do you know what you are thinking? Are you here with yourself? Do you Know yourself?

Self is the Key. You are the Key. You have the power. You are the power. You need to know the power. You need to know yourself. You need to know who you are right now in this moment in what you are thinking and feeling. And you need to start stopping whatever it is that is not best for you. You need to start stopping that which is harmful to Life.

Be the Self that is Free from all limitation, pain, abuse, destruction, and full of creation, ability, and potential. You start becoming through self-forgiveness.

Would you like to have a relationship with Your self?

Monday, March 25, 2013

day62-I don't want to live. Retribution.


I don't want to live. I feel happy.
So here's what came from my mind.
So these words came up when I was giving myself the opportunity to see what is going on inside my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the words 'I don't want to live' within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the words 'I feel happy' within and as me.
I do not need to be thinking I feel happy- If I was truly living, being here and expressing myself I would not need to be telling myself that I feel happy. This was a reaction.
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the backchat as 'I don't want to live' to be connected to the backchat 'I feel happy.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the feeling I call 'high' to the backchat 'I feel happy.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling experience known as high within and as me. 

When and as I am feeling 'high' I stop and I breathe and get back into the physical.
I commit myself to not listen to the backchat 'I don't want to live' anymore.
I commit myself to not listen to the backchat 'I feel happy' anymore.

If I believe I need to tell myself I am happy, then this implies I really feel not happy, that I am not content, that I am either sad, frustrated, scared, or angry/upset. These past months have been difficult for me. I have definitely not been satisfied with my work. But I sorta gave up. It felt too much, it felt like I could not go on like this, that it had to stop. I thought it was unfair, that I did not deserve what was happening to me. That I was innocent within all of this. I thought I needed help outside of me, I thought I needed something, some guidance, answer, a feeling like I knew what to do. That was where I turned to confidence and masking myself- because I associated feeling like I knew to actually knowing. I don't know what to do -feeling high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the words 'I don't know what to do' within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the backchat ' I don't know what to do' to be connected to the feeling I call 'high.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling experience called high within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mask myself with a feeling called confidence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling experience called confidence within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate feeling confident to a knowledge or belief of self-honesty.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to remember that I am the one I have been waiting for.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to claim innocence when I have clearly applied tools that can support me to stand up, yet I did not apply these techniques/tools, such as breathing, when I needed to most, instead I sought answers that would not lead to me taking responsibility.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that who I am, how I react and my experience are my complete and total responsibility and that it is my creation that have accepted and allowed to be created as the mind throughout my life- I was there when each and every thought surfaced and I accepted and allowed it- I was there when every single feeling and emotion was churning inside me- I could have stopped allowing/participating in it but I didn't.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up and thus accept and allow the mind to have dominion over the physical/my-gift/opportunity of life.

I commit myself to my work, again.
I commit myself to myself, again.
I commit myself to sorting out the mess that is myself.
I commit myself to use every tool at my disposal- to really go head-first into the mind with everything I got.

The list of tools include:
the principle of oneness and equality
Self-honesty
Self-forgiveness
Self-responsibility
Self-trust
and Breathing.

Heading into the otherside.....  

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