“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Self (2) - Day 56


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy my depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enter my depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see depression as me, when I have no clue how it operates and I don’t know what it consists of.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust depression, which leads to my self-harm.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge depression as bad.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must judge something as bad before I can stop.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from what is here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from self-direction and action.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry more about how I will appear when I do something than what I do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give so much value to appearance that I am willing to live a lie.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place the perception of others before myself and life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the value life and living.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the value of self-honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from  others by separating myself from being here, and placing value on the perception of others, which is only a perception of a perception, and not the others at all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss myself within allowing a perception of a perception to rule my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see direct, what is here, and what has been here this whole time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing energy within my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing conflict within me, instead of me standing firm as who I am, as best for all, as equal value and equal living.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand as self-direction in every field, every way, every word, every moment, and every movement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand as honesty in every moment, every movement, every breath, every touch, every spoken word, every kiss, every taste, every pain, every feeling, every pressure, every bump, every sound, every muscle, every cell, every sensation, every thought, every emotion, every reaction, every itch, every scratch, every fear, every rush, every word, conversation, moment shared with a person, interaction with a person; how I treat another person is how I treat myself. Who I am with another person is who I am with myself. What I live in any moment determines who I am. What I choose to live now will be lived and be real for that moment. Who am I?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self-destruction within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing war within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing limitation of growth within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose the lesser path.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not align myself to the life that is difficult for most, that requires a great amount of dedication and time, that most think is impossible to do, that I claim all can do but few choose to, that I know I am capable of, that I do not care if I fail but will give it everything I got, that I will try my best, where trying means doing it right and well, that I do everything I can to overcome every adversity, and every challenge, that I use questioning as a tool to expand and grow, to achieve more and do things better, that I use words to the fullest capability to have the greatest effect, that I utilize all resources, all chances, and opportunities that combine together to have the greatest effect possible, that I exclude that which is a limitation, that I even include the essence of who I am as a directive force to push me as myself, where I utilize the mind as a test, where I utilize every sensation and experience as a test of who I am, that I use only the tools which lead to the intended result, that I grow and expand as who I am, to include all life as the definition of life, and what it really means to be human and to live on this earth.
I commit myself to face every anger and pain head on as myself.
I commit myself to face every sadness and depression head on as myself.
I commit myself to face every opposition as myself, recognizing we are equal and one.
I commit myself to face every past moment as myself.
I commit myself to recognize that memories are trapped time, and as long as they are allowed to exist in separation they will rule our/my life, so I commit myself to realign myself with and as memories as a record of who I have been and as a way to test who I am now by seeing who am I when I am looking at this image of this memory, asking myself questions, am I reacting? Who do I become when I am faced with this memory/moment? And who am I really, who do I want to be when faced with this moment again? How can I consider life and all actors in this memory as equals? How can I live as an equal, utilizing this memory as a resource?
Similarly, thoughts, emotions, feelings, mind, are all really myself/ourselves existing in separation of myself/ourselves, and really revealing who WE ARE. When we are given a thought about suicide, do we suicide? Is that who we are? We determine who we are, and are thoughts simply reveal whether we are really directing our lives. Are we here?
There exists no special point in existence. None. All that exists is us. We can live and become special. We can be amazing, by living in oneness and equality with ourselves, and everything. Imagine, all points being equal. No more superiority, no more inferiority, just equality. Give life to All and give it to yourself. This is where confidence is found too. A confidence that is honor-bound because it is Life-bound. Bind yourself to Life. Bind yourself to what is real. Bind yourself to reality. Never let go of reality, what is real, what exists, and the essential truth that all is equal. Imgine every single expression is possible, there is no limitation. Not in thought, not in imagination, not in possibility, not in memory, not in anything. If you call abuse, and torture, and pain, and inferiority-superiority constructs freedom, it’s not! It is simply abuse. It is separation. As well as an inherent contradiction, because you would not want to do the same thing to yourself. No one really wants to exist in pain, suffering, depression, torture. No one. Any other claim is a lie. We trick ourselves into believing that some can want this, but realize the point is always motivated to seek a relief to seek a way out. Even addicts are in this cycle. Addicts want relief that’s why they continue with their addiction. It is simply short-sighted. See the GRANDER picture. Use your imagination, think outside the box. See beyond what you believe and have been told. Be open-minded. Consider the possibility. See equality. And if you are a man of worth you will stand by all as one and equal because you see yourself and you understand. There are no excuses. No limitations, no biological restraints. As you read this you know the truth that is written here. Because its you, if you dare to recognize yourself. Stop all fighting. Stop all Conflict. Stop all War. Stop all Abuse. Stop All Pain and Suffering. Stop all Torture. Stop all Killing. Stop the Rape. Stop the Murder. Stop.

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